A Drive with my Younger Self

Dear Younger Spencer,

This is a letter to a broad and non-specified version of myself as a younger kid. It isn’t being sent just to Spencer in second grade when he was Elfis (an Elf version of Elvis) or Spencer in eighth grade when he was finishing a growth spurt and was built like uncooked spaghetti or Spencer as a junior in high school feeling behind the curve in school, sports, theater, and life in general. It is to each of them and every other version of Spencer too. 5-10 years down the line I will look back on me now as a “Man you need some advice” version of myself too, but as of now this is the oldest and most mature I’ve ever been so for the next 500 to 1,000 words I will act as if I know exactly what they needed to hear (even if I feel like I know nothing now either).

Two words: “You’re fine”. That goes for whichever Spencer reads this part. As an Elementary school kid who feels like an outsider because he has glasses and is the only boy in dance class, you’re still smart for your age, have a huge heart, and you’re even the fastest in your class (which at your age is a huge deal). As a middle schooler struggling with all the issues and changes that come with that age, so is everyone else. Nobody knows how to deal with puberty, nobody else notices your slight peach fuzz, and nobody will remember that you wore bright red shorts and a blue headband to school for spirit day (besides yourself, seriously dude that was not your best moment). As a high schooler, you’re doing well for yourself. Even if you feel like you don’t “fit in” with any groups because you bounce around cliques, you have a girlfriend who will become your wife and friends who will end up in your wedding. As a college student, it’s ok that you feel equally burnt out from overdoing it and unprepared for the real world. You are a good role model for those younger than you, and you’re just as prepared as those you look up to were at your age. And lastly to Spencer a year, month, week, or day ago, you’re learning and growing exactly how you need to. I got great advice at my college grad party (so most of the Spencer’s I’ve written to haven’t heard it yet) and that advice was “Nobody knows what they’re doing, some people are just better at faking it” (thank you Mark). It has helped me rationalize how I feel and understand as long as I put my best foot forward and do my best to do my best, that is what matters. 

I don’t have a ton of great advice for my younger self other than “you’ll figure it out kid”. If there happens to be someone younger than me reading this now, my advice would be the same. Younger me, you will not do everything right. You will make mistakes. You will try to be more independent than you are and stumble where you wouldn’t have if you asked for help. You will also have moments of great pride and success. You will marry the woman of your dreams, you’ll get a job you love, and you’ll focus on making yourself a little bit better everyday. Continue to put one foot forward everyday and don’t miss out on the journey thinking too much about the destination.

Sincerely,

Just a guy talking to himself